Neither here nor there.

 It's kind of weird that I've been experiencing a wide range of emotions. I'm not sure whether it's the pandemic fatigue or is just the age is catching up.  I feel happy and grateful for having my kids with me. I endured 7 months of separation when I had to leave them back in KL with my husband and mother in law to start a new job in Sydney. Grateful that I got a job to start with. It wasn't easy but the timing was right and I had to make the most difficult decision in my life so that I can pave way for something better for my children. It was worth it because I managed to relocate them just shy of 6 months before the entire world went into lockdown and everything just literally stopped for a good 2 years now. If I didn't make that decision to sacrifice 7 months of my time to be away from my kids, I would have dearly paid for it right now... Either we're stuck in separate countries or we would have never moved to Australia at all.  Now, I tell myself everyda...

  It feels great to be out in the sun. Something is so wonderful about nature that instantly makes you feel that the world is much larger than your problems.  It's spring in Sydney and the weather has been gorgeous. Just love the fresh air and sunny skies. We've been having backyard picnics, lots of Malaysian food and a short nap afterwards while the kids draw and colour and away to Jack Johnson tunes. Simple life. And ice cream, of course.  I recently received a substantial pay rise at work plus a promotion. It's scary given that I've only been here for a year but also exciting. I can finally upgrade my MacBook Air 😄

Sometimes you just miss the good old times.  I often get flashbacks of the things that happened to me 20 years ago. It's so hard to even believe I'm getting old!  Moving to Sydney was not something planned. I never thought I'd leave Penang and yet I did and moved to Kuala Lumpur. I never thought I'd leave KL and yet I did and moved to Sydney. Where to next? No idea.  One thing though, I'm certainly drifting away from places, things and people that I'm familiar with. With every move, I drift a little bit further. I look at my kids today and it occurred to me that have no clue about my past. Do I want them to know? Yes, of course. But how? The pandemic had made it difficult for anyone to travel back. You're all locked up. No social connection. It was a blessing at first but definitely not nurturing for my children. I feel sad that I'm not giving them the best of life's experiences. Being close to their own family and grandparents is one of it. Not that...